Confessions to the people of the DaltonVerse

This is a page where you can ask the boys and girls of the Daltonverse any personal questions OOC and IN.

You can be anon or asks us to answer you in your ask box

~Nikki

Hey Guys

So the other admins and I have noticed that we’re getting accused of not answering questions and ignoring people. This is not true. Until yesterday the askbox had been sitting at (1) message for over a week. The only reason that question is still in there is because it is complex and difficult and we are working out the best response. It is also someone who is not anon and we have spoken to them about the fact that we were still trying to figure out the best way to help them. There are now (3) messages but of the new 2, one arrived yesterday and one this morning. The one that arrived yesterday is going to have to be handled VERY carefully so it may be sitting there until at least later tonight when someone who feels they can is able to answer it. The other is a response to ask we’ve already answered and is therefore sitting until the person it is for see’s it and decides if they want to continue trying to help this person or let someone else try if they feel they can’t give anymore. 

At the end of the day the people answering these questions for you are just young people themselves, most them in school and most of them with as many if not worse problems than some of you. You have to allow them time to deal with their own lives too, I simply ask that you be respectful because they do this out of the goodness of their hearts and it is not acceptable for you to accuse them of not caring. If they didn’t care this page would not exist. If your question has not be answered within 2 days 1st send an ask prompting us about it and we will probably ask you to send a second ask with a prompt to its subject. We will then tell you if it is there or not and whether you need to send it again. The askbox does not always work, we do sometimes fail to get messages, you have to be patient with us. And please be polite about it. If there is a delay in your problem being dealt with its probably because we’re waiting for someone who can relate better to help you. 

So please be patient. We do want to help, we do care but please do not accuse us of otherwise.

-RP Admin

Anonymous asked: You never seem to answer questions any more. I should have known that you didn't really care.

Anon, please. I usually check this blog everyday, I didn’t have a chance this weekend. We have two messages in here other than yours, one is brand new. The other is one that we are working on jointly, so we can answer it to the best of our abilities.

Give us a break. We’re just people, trying to do our best, but we do have lives too. And sometimes we aren’t in the right place to answer questions.

~Kai(David/Derek)

Anonymous asked: Fellow RPers,

There is nothing that I live for in this world. I'm young, I'm still a teenager, but I just have nothing to live for. I seem to live to sleep and to dream but I hate waking up. I spend as much time on this RP as possible trying to forget it all but then it piles up and suddenly I'm crashing. And now that I'm crashing I dream some more. I live in my head. I don't want their reality, I don't want to admit to myself that this is the only reality I'll ever have. I barely have friends. I always feel as if I'm on the outside. Even talking to you guys I feel as if I'm on the outside. I can't do anything. And I'm weird. This city is so small, it feels as if you know everyone, and I haven't met a single person who doesn't think that I'm weird or crazy.

I don't know if I want to stop living in my head. There is nothing for me, nothing that will ever compare, and I don't know what to do.

Live because people LOVE you. Please don’t do anything, please. Take a break from the RP if you have too! Just don’t do anything you’ll regret.

Most humans don’t live in their heads most of the time. That’s why we have techniques to pull us back. Techniques to bring us back to the here and now. The Now is empty, because everything we think during the day is outside of that.

One of these is a breathing technique. Put your hands on your stomach and breathe in as much as you can. then allow it all to go out. Do that a few times, with eyes open or closed. Concentrate on it, remember that this is happening Here with you, right Now.

Another technique can be used with any of the five senses. I’ll use Sight and touch as examples.

Sight

Concentrate on an object in your room, I’ll use a lamp. Take in the features of that lamp, white shade, dark base, pyramid shape. Then remind yourself that the lamp is there with you, right Now in that room.

Touch

This is the technique I usually use. Feel where your feet touch the floor and the floor touches you. Notice that your feet are tingling, how warm they are, the socks you are wearing. Then remember that the feet are attached to you, are there with you in the Now.

It sounds fruity, but it really does work. It’s hard to keep it for more then a few seconds, but it does help you calm down, and pulls you back for those few seconds.

Also try scheduling yourself, deciding on times you will be working on homework, roleplaying. Then stick to it. If you mess up one day, don’t panic. Just continue the next day.

The other things that can help are the same things we preach throughout this Diet and Exercise, it really does help and make you feel happier.

Please use these, or try something, Please!

2011: The Guilt- Free Year

julsmarie:

I’ve started this new thing in my life since 1/1/2011…

Its been around for a long time, but I’m always late on the up-take…

It’s called “Letting It Go”.  Monumental.

Over the past few days, every time I catch myself getting worked up, shoulders tightening, stressed, upset, or feeling guilty about something I simply pause, let my shoulders relax, and then I throw my hands in the air and proclaim:

“It’s a Guilt-Free Year, Baby!”

I’m telling you, it is working WONDERS!

Guilt is your own manifestation, no one else’s.  Stress is yours to accept or release.  Worry is yours to give attention to, or to simply turn away from and say “Not today, sir… not today”.

I don’t mean neglecting responsibilities.  I am talking about being so on top of your own life, so confident in yourself and your abilities that there is no room for anything else.

I will care for the people in my life because I want to, can’t stand not to… not because someone somewhere told my I should.

I will work harder each day than I’ve ever worked before because the pay off is SO worth it, because it is a deep desire… not because guilt says I should.

I will do the things I don’t always want to do because they are leading me to invaluable things… not because I feel that my life has no other options.  If I’m doing something that I hate doing that is leading me nowhere… than I had better find a new choice.

I won’t stress or panic over things unsaid… if you want something from me, use your words.

I won’t fear what might happen.   Because by the time anything comes around for you… you are usually equipped to handle it in a way your weren’t before.  So the fear was worthless, false.

I’m not going to pretend to agree with you if I don’t.  I’m not going to put on the face of a girl that I think (or know) you’d rather me be.  If you don’t like me than you can walk, leaving room for one more person who does like me.

I won’t promise you more than I can give… I can only give of myself in direct proportion to what I have to offer.  And I won’t feel guilty or apologize if you expected more than I promised.

I’m going to live my life in the best way I know how, using the best of myself, based on the best wisdom and knowledge I have at this moment in time.  If you want a better version of me, wait a couple of years.  

Manifesto complete.  The end.  All of the above should be read while Barbara Streisand’s “Don’t Rain On My Parade” is playing.  Loudly:)

This is the link that was placed in CP Coulter’s ask box. It is from Julia Albain’s (AVPM/S’s Crabbe, and a role in Starship) Tumblr

~Kai (David/Derek)

Anonymous asked: Uhh, hi. I'm a little confused at the moment so I just need to type this out, is that ok? I'm almost 18 years old but have never really been attracted to anyone. When I was younger I just pretended to think guys like Zac Efron were "hot" because everyone else did. I just didn't understand attraction.

I don't think I've ever had a crush, if I did I wouldn't know what it felt like. I've never been kissed, or had a boyfriend or a girlfriend before. That hasn't bothered me before but it's starting to now.

I do think guys are "hot" now when I see them. Course, they're still movie and tv stars but what are you going to do? Thing is, I think girls are too. I'm not comfortable with my body so the idea of having sex with anyone kind of freaks me out but the idea of kissing both guys and girls sounds nice and like something I'd really really like to do. I have absolutely no problem with being a lesbian or bisexual, I'm just confused.

It seems like everyone knows at this point in their life. People talk about how they regret coming out at this age instead of earlier. I feel like I should already know who I am and who I am attracted to. I can't exactly 'experiment' because well, I wouldn't know how to and I'm not exactly the social type. I just wish I knew.

So, I guess I'm not really asking for help I just needed to type this out. So, if you read this, thanks for reading, yeah?

It’s completely okay to come here and type out your thoughts if it helps. We’ll always be willing to read it.

Not everyone knows at a young age where they stand. I realized that I am not straight when I was 14, but I still don’t really know how to well… label myself, I say I’m bisexual, but I’m still not sure and I’m 17.

Then there are people who know at a young age where they stand, like Kurt Hummel, he knew at a very young age even if he didn’t come out for many years. There is no ‘normal’ time to realize, I know people who have gotten married and had kids and then realized, that this wasn’t right and that they were a lesbian.

Don’t doubt yourself, don’t be afraid to be like Reed, and just figure it out as you go, maybe one day you’ll find a Shane and can then identify yourself as Shanesexual. Who knows.

Just let it come to you okay? I hope this helps.

~Kai (David/Derek)

Anonymous asked: First - Thank you for existing. Just hearing some of the things people send in makes me know it's true I'm not alone.
Second - I think I'm romantically attracted to my best friend.
I have known her since we were 3 years old, but only for the last couple of years have we been best friends. I tell her almost everything. Except this, the fact I have a councillor and I may have been having an identity crisis for the last 3 years - I haven't told her because she worries, I don't want her to worry.
If I'm gay or bisexual or anything like that, fine. Neither of us have a problem with that. But it's the fact that she's my best friend. I don't want to ruin anything.
But there's also the fact that it's just romantic attraction. I constantly want to hold her hand, hug her, be near her, spend time with her. Basic things like that. But everything else? Completely not interested.
I've considered the fact I might even be asexual, but I have no problem with sex. I don't feel any particular aversion to it. When I have it, it'll be with someone I love and we'll both be ready. I just don't want anything sexual with her.
Which makes it even worse. For if she also liked me in the same way (which I strongly doubt) I don't think I can give her that kind of relationship. I just want to hold her hand. I just want to hug her. I just want to bake cakes with her (although I'm not letting her anywhere near the oven, she could burn soup!) I just want to talk constantly about the things we do and not feel nervous or awkward if we end up brushing our fingers against each other.
It's almost gotten to the point where I don't touch her ever because I don't know how I'll react if I do.
I know there is no real advice for this - I just think I needed someone to talk to without them knowing who I am.
And hey - maybe this'll help someone else feel like they aren't alone either.
Thanks.

I’m glad that we can be here to show you, and hopefully many others that, I know some of us do feel alone sometimes, but it’s always nice to have that reminder that we aren’t.

I think the best and only advice I can give you here, is to talk to her. I am a very touch-feely, cuddly, I-want-to-hold-your-hand-but-it’s-completely-platonic kind of person. One of my friends however is not, she’s very shy about things like physical contact. So me and her sat down and talked about it. I explained to her, that I wasn’t trying to hit on her, or make her uncomfortable, that’s just how I show I care for people, millions of hugs, and cuddles, etc. She then explained to me, that it just made her a bit uncomfortable, and now we’ve come to a kind of medium, where I can be cuddly and stuff with her when we aren’t at like school or out in public, but when we’re hanging out with our close friends and such.

So maybe you need to sit down with her and have a conversation like that, it might help you out a lot. Also if she is your best friend, I suggest telling her about going to see the therapist, and the identity crisis, because even though she may worry. i think she would rather know about it than not.

I hope this helps even in a small way.

~Kai (David/Derek)

Anonymous asked: No, it's alright. I don't really want to send it again. It just goes to show that there really isn't any help for me, even when I try to reach out for it.
Thanks anyway

There is help for you.

There is help for anyone who asks for it. The problem that we always encounter is asking for help from the wrong people. Sometimes we need to ask strangers because they can’t judge us. They don’t know who we are and they just know the issue at hand. It’s good to get everything off of your chest so you can live a happier life. Living and feeling so alone is not good for anyone.

Anon we love you and we really want to help you.

~Nikki

Anonymous asked: Okay so I sent something to you guys a couple weeks ago. I've been checking this blog everyday to see if I ever got a responce. I pretty much told you my whole life story. Is there a chance that you just didn't get it, or maybe it got deleted? I would know if you answered it cause I check this blog atleast twice a day.

To my knowledge nothing has been deleted. It may still be in the ask box if its a really long message as they take longer to answer and we normally have to get a few of us online who aren’t busy to sit down and tackle it. However looking at what we have in the ask box its been hit recently and we’ve answered the backlog the only ones sitting are fairly recent. If you’re concerned it hasn’t been answered feel free to send it again, there was some trouble a while back where the askbox was saying questions had been sent and we didn’t receive them so perhaps you could send it to us again? We would never have deleted it without answering it. That would defeat the purpose of the tumblr :)

Sheryl (Charlie) x